The First Night [Intro]

I made the dumb ass mistake of lugging a high school relationship all the way to college. I don't mean she came with me but the baggage did. My Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram profiles were not prepped for arriving on a college campus. I had her plastered all over social media, and there was no hiding it. This was the whole nine yards too, Instagram posts, cute subtweets, and all that other bullshit that comes with sappy, disgusting high school relationships. So the second I set foot on campus any possible prospective six to ten ran the opposite way as soon as they made that search for my name on their ever attached iPhones aptly placed in monogrammed cases. I learned this very quickly. Thank God.

I held on for two weeks of school. Then the relationship started to get rough quick. Lets just say she started to do some very questionable things with large numbers of the opposite sex, at once. I'm talking multiple guys at her house with just her and no one else there. It may have been totally innocent, but I would never pull shit like that. So she had to go. Generally women see me as a cold, heartless bastard, and I can be sometimes like all men, but it was hard. I liked this girl. However, I remembered what my Dad always told me, "Make it a clear break, for you and her heart." So I kicked my roommate out of the room, sank into the futon, and made the call. I gave it to her hard and fast then hung up as soon as she understood. After sitting there for a few minutes I stood up to go let my roommate back in. We'll just call him Johnny. I approached the door slowly, and opened it just as Johnny came barreling down the hall and into our room, almost knocking me over in the confusion. He slammed the door shut behind him after letting our best friend, Cam, in the room. Johnny had on a backpack I had never seen before and it look full and heavy, but before I could ask him about it he asked how the break up went, practically screaming at me. I just said its over and I'm good. He said, "You're gonna be more than good tonight mother fucker. My senior buddy just got us three spots on a party bus headed to Trademark, its the sickest club around. You're going with me and Cam whether you like it or not!"

I was dumb founded. Never had I had the opportunity to drink or party at all. I was homeschool for fucks sake. But I was jumping to assumptions. "We are drinking right?"

"Of course we are you retard."

Thats when Johnny opened up his backpack to reveal a case of Natty Light and two handles of Fireball. I was again dumbfounded. I had been on the phone for maybe ten minutes, fifteen tops, and he had acquired enough alcohol to put the three of us into a club terrorizing, woman chasing, waste banding trio of destruction. The great thing is that's exactly what happened.

This was the beginning of my first real college experience, and it was a glorious night. I will tell this night from each of the three perspectives in three different posts. There is simply no other way to include all the wonderful details. My perspective of the night will come first then Cam's, then Johnny's.

Drink a beer for me men. I'm in class right now and drinking is frowned upon by our professors. Doesn't mean that I don't have some whiskey in my coffee though.

Crack a Beer For This Shit

Hi. I'm a college student and I want to start a blog. I like writing and I like the internet so why not? I got wifi, a macbook, and lots of free time so what the hell. I'm just going to use this to tell stories of my college life thus far and the alcohol induced events to come. I'm on my second semester of my freshman year and so much shit has already hit the fan that my dorm room is going to have to be repainted before the next underclassmen scum inhabits this dark hole filled with beer, girls, and weird dude who scare me on a daily basis.

No, I don't go to a huge state school where the parties and girls flow like milk and honey in the promise land. I go to a small ass, religious school in a one stop light town. I like to look at this as a good thing. Creativity is the name of the game when it comes to turning up and going down. It makes it all a little more fun, the stories a little more entertaining, and the cops even douchier. So maybe I have had multiple close calls, but its a little more rewarding. Its like banging a girl, two minutes is still fun for you but you didn't do anything to deserve your few seconds of pleasure. She is utterly dissatisfied, but if you put her through the mill and work her for hours then you feel accomplished. That feeling of accomplishment should not be traded for anything in the world. Partying and fucking for that matter takes more work at a college like this. But the reward is a little sweeter and revered as a great feat that everyone admires while wishing they could have pulled it off. I'm going to tell all my stories on this "blog." So stick around.